Blog 1504: Bangalore episode 3: Arbit tales from East and West

Never mind the blog title.
All tales here are going to be based in the singular location on Earth called Bangalore.
No, wait.
Hmmm.
The East refers to the Eastern part of the world.
The West refers to the South Western part of India.
Not so dumb a blog title after all haan.
[:D]


Whats in a name
------------------------

This happened when we were just driving from the Yashwantpur station into Bangalore.
Saw a shop named J. K. Condiments.
Or maybe S. K. Condiments.
Or whatever.

Who names a 10ft by 10ft eatery as Something Condiments??
Its like calling a printing mistake a typographical faux pas.
Or like referring to mad cow disease as bovine spongiform encaphalopathy.

Of course I do both.


Back from the brink
-----------------------------

I did it again!
Remember the raw-is-war grand championship series of the millennium? [:D]
So this time, me and three others were playing tt.

We losing 15-20.
Me serving.
The tension is palpable.
The series is even at 1-1.
If it has to be, its up to me. [:D]
My partner has given up hope.
The opponents do a high five.
I wipe off the sweat.
I stare long and hard at my opponent.
He sneers.
I look down at my feet.
Surely... surely this cant be it.

I loft the ball.
Serve.
16-20.
17-20.
18-20.
Ace!
19-20.
And then...
Deuce!

We breathed again.
There was hope.
The grandstands had gone mad.
The tide had turned.
The moment of truth was here.

They served.
My partner returned.
The opponent returned.
And then... smash!
Advantage!

My partner serves.
Its all over!
Victory!

Blah...

Next story...


Just another brick in the wall... missing
-------------------------------------------------------

So the lab I work in is in between two offices.
One on the left is my department manager's.
One on the right belongs to some arbit guy.
But he's some high flying fellow.

As all of Earth alongwith the inhabitants of Venus and Mars know, I have a habit of singing sometimes.
Okay so big deal others too have this habit.
Huh...
Anyways... where was I...
Yeah... so one fine day, I started singing when I was alone in my lab.

Two hours passed.
My department manager walked in along with my buddy(guide).
"This fellow really has a wide range man... right from 60's to the latest songs. Hi... I'm S. Thanks for the two hours... completely enjoyed myself... carry on carry on."
And thus, I got introduced to my dept head.
Nice way na? [:D]

Right.
So day before yesterday, I was singing in my lab again.
And suddenly, the song "Take it easy" by Eagles came to mind.
And just as they start the song with a flourish and then sing it with tempo, I too did.
All this while I was writing code and was blissfully unaware of the volume at which I was singing.

Knock knock.
"You know, we do have a.c here and the rooms ought to be well sealed but the voice does tend to carry over to the other side."
Twas the man from the right had side office.

Lunch on the same day...
One of my senior colleagues..."So Sunny... howz the singin goin ha?[:D]"

Evening on the same day...
Dep head: "Sunny, meet V... he's the new intern at our lab. *handshakes and smiles all around*. So you finally discovered how thin our walls are haan?[:D]"

Yeah well...
*sigh*

Smack my bitch up
----------------------------

So one fine day, me and the most innocent looking bitch on the face of the Earth, Gandhi, were playing pool.
Singles.
It so happened that the cue ball was almost in the center of the table.
Me chasing stripes.
Gandhi for blocks.

You must to have guessed by now how palpable the tension was.
And how serious the situation was.
And how everyone was holding his breath.
And how it was a do or die situation.
The works.

Yeah.
So as Gandhi took position.
Crawling all over the table to get his position right.
His left leg rested on the table top.
His right leg bent so that he'd be able to keep low.
His spine parallel to the table and directly above it.
And then, his butt.
Jutting out behind the table and the rest of his body.

Gandhi took aim.
With concentration.

I took aim.
With concentration.

Gandhi drew his hand back one final time.
I drew my hand back one final time.

I fired... 'spank'.
And on cue, Gandhi fired... 'tock'.
The cue ball hit a striped ball into the pocket.

And you must have guessed how the grandstands went delirious.
And how it was a moment of revelation.
And how history was rewritten.
The works.


Inter IIT Sports GC.
------------------------------

Right.
So Kgp won the Inter IIT sports GC this year.
Yay!
Cheers!

Ok... enough... back to the story please.

Yeah.
But there is something you dont know.
Something deep and dark that has been hidden from the world till now.
A grave secret.
But its time now to let it out.
Its time to open another Pandora's box.
Fact is... this Inter IIT GC has a secret round that decides who the de facto winner is.
That secret round is called... The Inter IIT Pool Championship.
The venue: GE common room.

Today, of course, was the final.
And of course, the tension was palpable.
And the situation was tense.
And everyone was holding their breath.
The works.

So...
The teams: me and Gandhi vs two guys from IITB.
They were pros.
Who knows how long IITB had trained these ppl for this day?
What drugs... what foreign coaches... what simulants...
The works.

We began badly.
We were losing... slowly but surely.
Inspite of all our efforts, and the prayers of all of GE, they kept pocketing their balls.
Huh.
Balls indeed.
Me and Gandhi put aside all our differences for this moment.
Inspite of knowing that Gandhi is a hopeless player, I kept giving him tempo.
I also had to keep reminding him that he has to hit the cue ball with the thinner end of the stick rather than the thicker one.
But twas no use.
You cant teach an old dog new tricks.

I know Gandhi doesnt read my blog.
[:D]

So we had three balls on the table, and they had one left.
The better pro took the shot.
But before that...
Me and Gandhi put our hearts and souls together and prayed to the highest heaven, no less.
The coulds parted.
The sky split into two.
A ray of light shone onto the pool table invisible to all except Kgpians.
The IITB pro nonchalantly stepped up.
The sneer writ large on his face.
He took aim.
Fired.
But the cue ball miraculously curved its path.
It hit the black ball.
And lo! The black ball went in!
Kgp had won again!

And of course, the grandstands went mad.
And history was rewritten.
And it was a moment of truth.
The works.