My head trashes the idea of zodiacs... and logically, I find it impossible to comprehend how the position of the sun, moon and stars at the time of your birth can ascertain your behaviour or your destiny.
And yet, Linda Goodman amazes me. Not just me, but most people whom I've shown her description of their character based on their zodiac sign.
I'm a cancerian, much of it...and I swear this woman is not joking in her zodiac descriptions.
I'll cut-paste some of the stuff she's written abt cancerians...but I aint saying how much of it I found to be true... :P
THE CANCERIANS
"Moonlight becomes them beautifully. It goes with their many moods, and it matches their chang¡ng emotions....The Cancerian's passing moods are synchronized to the Moon...Yet, the Moon doesn't really change at all. It just seems to. Likewise, the Cancerian remains the same person through all his fluctuating highs and lows." ( No doubt whatsoever abt the connection with the moon)
"You may first come across him when he's laughing the 'crazy lunar laugh'. It's inescapably contagious. It runs up and down the scales with a deep, throaty undertone. It giggles and gurgles, then finally erupts in a loud cackle that sounds exactly like two hundred hens laying two hundred perfect eggs.
In his life-of-the-party mood, you'll have no trouble finding the Cancerian. He'll be the funniest one in the room, a laugh a minute. If he's not performing himself, then he'll be grinning at someone else's antics. No one likes a joke better than Cancer, and his funny side is all the more startling when it pops up so incongruously from his normally quiet, gentle personality.
Lunar humor runs deep. It's never shallow or superficial, because it stems from the sensitive observation of human behavior. Cancer may not wear his lunar laugh every day, but he can always dig it out of his old trunk in the basement at a moment's notice."
"These people don't pant after the spotlight... but Cancerians have an uncanny sense of publicity, when it pleases them to be noticed. Don't let that unassuming manner fool you. They secretly enjoy attention, and they'll soak up any headlines they get. You won't find Cancer pursuing fame with passion (he pursues nothing with true passion), but he certainly won't shrink from it. He's far more likely to bask in the reflected glow of applause than to run away. Cancer may hide from things, but you can be sure that appreciation is not one of them."
"His tears are never crocodile tears. They flow from the deep rivers of his fragile and vulnerable heart. You can wound his sensitive feelings with a harsh glance or a rough tone of voice. Cruelty can bring on brimming eyes or a 'complete withdrawal. It won't be easy to spot the crab in this mood, because when he's hurt, he disappears into reproachful silence. Sometimes, he can retaliate with an almost scorpion revenge, but he'll usually do it secretly, seldom openly with the Scorpio's fine contempt for consequences. Most of the time, however, hell turn away from getting even, content to hide under his protective shell. Once you've wounded him, you can poke at him with a sharp stick for days afterwards and not reach him."
"A thousand moods play fleetingly across their faces in the course of a conversation. Do you know someone who sometimes cackles wildly, then weeps despondently,who occasionally snaps at you irritably, and then hides when you hurt him? Does he normally treat you with gentle consideration? If he's gruff, yet kindly, a fascinating conversationalist with deep wells of creative imagination, that person was probably born in late June or July."
"Caneerians have such control of imagery, and their moods are so intense, they can make you feel them, too. Their imagination seizes joy and despair, horror and compassion, sorrow and ecstasy, and holds each emotion fast with a retentive memory. Like mirrors and cameras, they absorb images and reflect them faithfully. Every experience is engraved on the heart as a photograph is etched on a negative plate. They never forget any of the lessons life has taught them nor do they forget the lessons history has taught mankind. Historical figures intrigue him as much as his own ancestors do. Cancer is a sort of mental archaeologist, always digging for more fascinating facts."
Boy this is true...no points for guessing...history was my favourite subject in school!!
"He's also a well of secrecy. People automatically confide their secrets to the crab, but with his sensitive emotions he already knows what's on their minds. Cancerian compassion is deep and highly intuitive. There's hardly a secret he can't strip naked, if he chooses. "
"It's a one-way street, however. He'll eventually soak up all there is to know about you, but you'll never guess his own private thoughts. He guards his inner feelings carefully from prying eyes. The typical Cancer person doesn't like to discuss his personal life, but he's delighted to hear about yours, as his lunar imagination lets him easily guess the parts you leave out. Cancer seldom judges, however. He simply gathers, absorbs, reflects."
"Male or female, the Cancerian loves his home with a respect bordering on reverence. No devout high priest of ancient times ever considered his altar more sacred than Cancer considers the place where he hangs his old hat. You're liable to notice a sampler on his wall with the words, "There's No Place Like Home, Be It Ever So Humble." (Yes, I know the verse is backwards, but his little girl made it at school, and to him it's a masterpiece, a pearl beyond price. Admire it often.) His home is where he plays, lives, loves, dreams and feels safe. Though he may travel over half the earth in connection with his career, no Cancer person is ever quite happy without a hearth to call his own. Sometime make a point of noticing the expression on the face of a crab who has just returned home from a long trip. Pure ecstasy."
THE CANCER MAN"A taciturn expert at circumlocution he is. A scatterbrain and a chatterbox he is not. Don't expect this man to bare his soul when he first meets you. Cancerians never confide in strangers, and there are certain things even their best friends don't know. It will take a long time and a fair amount of patience to really know him."
"He can be flirtatious and fickle, but he can also be sensitive and loyal...He can be so courtly, courteous, and considerate, you half expect him to ask you to dance the Virginia Reel. There's no question that he's a romantic dreamer, yet he's so sensible and practical, his enemies may call him 'Old Marble Nose' behind his back."
"He's almost as fond of security as he is of you. You may have a slight edge, but you can safely consider money your worst rival. He's going to pursue it with dedication and a sort of quiet, religious fervor for most of his days. (The nights may bring other things to pursue.) It's not the worst fate you could experience. Finances have fascinated him since childhood, and saving will be substantially more attractive to him than spending. He's not exactly stingy, but let's say it's not likely you'll ever see him lighting his pipe with a dollar bill for a parlor trick."
" He'd rather take you out to the best restaurant, and get what he pays for, than risk offending his sensitive tastes with over-cooked lamb chops and indifferent service in a second-rate place. He thinks it's silly to waste money on a cloth coat, when a mink or chinchilla will amortize itself over the years. A good, conservative Cadillac or Bentley is a safer investment, in his opinion, thqn a cheap car that depreciates as soon as you drive it around the comer. Quality and thrift are synonymous to the Cancerian."
"If he's a true Cancerian, he won't be wild about sports clothes. There's a certain formality about his toilet. Whether be'ss worth billions or only a few paltry thousands, he likes conservative cuts and good tailoring. He often leans to collar buttons (yes, they still sell them-to Cancerians), French cuffs and expensive shirts he gets wholesale, usually without monograms (too showy; he prefers to be inconspicuous). Even when he's short of cash for a brief period while he's working on his first million, his shoes will be polished and his socks will stay up."
"Let's hope you find his mother congenial. In fact, let's pray you do. To put it mildly, the Cancer man may be reluctant to dethrone Mama and crown you as his new queen. Be sure to spoil him at least as much as she does, and that may be a lot. He's probably grown accustomed to being considered the apple of her eye. "
"You're fairly safe in risking an unchaperoned trip to his rocky cave, because the typical lunar man is the soul of gallantry with women. Hell usually be a gentleman until you stop being a lady."
"If he asks to take your picture, don't grab your babushka and run. Photography is a common lunar hobby, and few Cancer males live their lives without at least one camera....
Whatever it is, just say, "I'd love to, dear, but do you mind if I call my astrologer first? I'll need your birthday." If he thinks you're jesting, you can straighten that out right away. Just tell him that J. P. Morgan seldom made a move in the stock market without consulting astrologer Evangeline Adams, who was the granddaughter and great-granddaughter of John Quincy Adams and John Adams. The combination of both history and money will open his eyes wide with interest."
"Although he may engage in light flirtations, it may be many years before he becomes seriously enamoured, because it isn't easy for him to find a woman he feels is worthy of his interest. When he finds her, he'll be beautifully sentimental, and he'll lavish her with gifts and admiration. But his standards are high. Not every girl can meet them. Most crabs are afraid of being burned, and not without cause. A mismatched alliance which would cause only a few sad weeks of readjustment for the average man can be a disaster to the crab."
"He's naturally shy of rushing in, but once he's sure, he won't be easily rebuffed. Cancerians can play the role of the romantic lover artfully. After he's declared himself, and has some hope of winning you, his timidity will switch to tenacity overnight, and you'll find yourself being courted by an earnest, determined man who won't take no as an answer for any proposal he has in mind. He's likely to stuff himself in your mailbox (figuratively, of course), camp on your doormat and monopolize your phone."
"...he'll be a fine parent, because of the same caring, gentle, sympathetic, and understanding nature you fell in love with yourself. He'll have infinite padence with the children, be genuinely interested in every mashed toe, broken toy and toothache. He'll wear a paper hat at their birthday parties, be a pied piper for all the kids on the block, and spend countless hours entertaining the little people. Cancer dads are proud of their sons and fiercely protective of their daughters. When they're small, he'll be just the grandest daddy you could imagine..."
"...Don't forget-never throw away his battered old hat, his torn tennis shoes, his stamp collection or his grade school report cards. They're his treasures..."
I still have no idea how the position of the sun and moon, which are nothing but mere pieces of gas, sand and stone, can influence your behaviour or outlook to such a colossal extent.
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